Sorry if I…

by Donnie Bostwick

August 1, 2021

997

Take me out of the athletic arena and I have never hit anyone, not one single punch. I haven’t even been in a single fight. Hearing that, you probably think I’m pretty dang soft, but on the court or field, I love to hit. I absolutely love contact. I simply made the decision a long time ago that off the court, I would find another path to solve my differences with others.
I once approached my uncle in junior high about learning how to fight. I simply had come to the end of my rope after being bullied day after day. My uncle was the toughest man I knew. He had won more than his share of fights during his lifetime. I will never forget his words. “Walk away from every fight possible. That’s what a real man does. Only fight when it is your last option and you have to protect yourself. Nobody wins in a fight. It only brings pain.”
I may have not hit anyone, but I have been hit, slapped and bullied. Why fight? Why hate? I simply hate seeing others suffer pain. Why cause someone else pain? Why not look for the best in others instead and focus our efforts on bringing smiles to others?
I say all that because I wonder how someone, especially someone who knows me well, could so easily pull the trigger or throw me under the bus after reading or seeing one of my social media pictures or post. As a coach or player, I have never hesitated to call someone out for being lazy or for selfish play. You may not like your playing time or my demand on your effort, but I believe it would be a cold day in July in Oklahoma before you would find someone that I have intentionally brought pain.
Growing up I loved watching Happy Days, Fat Albert, The Dukes of Hazard, Good Times, The Andy Griffith Show, The Lone Ranger, and Sanford and Son. All great TV shows. Full of people that were both similar and deferent than me.
As a kid in small town, I loved playing Cowboys and Indians or riding my bike like the daredevil Evel Knievel. My favorite pro basketball players were Dr J, Larry Bird, John Stockton, Karl Malone, and Dominique Wilkins. I remember wanting to name my son Dominique. Instead God gave me a son named Dominique.
It was a simple time in my life. I did not realize we were on the lower end of the economic spectrum in American standards, nor did I realize the level of hate in the world. Because we had so much love in our home and were rich in family and faith, I was shielded somewhat from the real world. We had everything we needed to live a joyful life. I did not realize there was so much poverty and hate all over the world and that the economical challenges and small town bullies I faced paled to compare to so many other kids. Kids who were unfortunately born into real poverty or in a location ravaged with war or discrimination.
Over my 50 plus years of life my eyes have been opened wide to the hate, poverty, and the enemy behind it all that reeks havoc to and fro. He is currently enjoying his time causing pain in this world. Yet, I still smile, because I know the One who can and will change it all someday. Right now though, He is depending on each of us to be His light in a world full of darkness.
I am pretty certain that most of my classmates, teammates, and players over the years would say that I have treated them with love. If I have caused anyone pain, I am sorry and did not mean to do so, but I do feel the need to bring attention to something that constantly seems to be stirring up hate these days.
It is impossible to walk a mile in someone’s shoes other than your own and we all know hate exist. Even though these two things are true, it is also true that Love and forgiveness exist in greater power and the joy of serving others and a future in heaven empty of hate awaits those who can see past the darkness.
God has let me see the world with my own eyes. I have walked the streets of Africa, Asia, Europe, and North and Central America. I have spent time with the people in both small town America and the inner cities. Walked on beaches and on mountain tops all over the world and through remote villages in places like Alaska and in the Himalayas. Sadly, I have seen kids digging through trash looking for food in many of these locations. As James Taylor so accurately wrote and sang, “I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend. But I always thought that I’d see you again. Won’t you look down upon me, Jesus. You’ve got to help me make a stand.”
I’ve seen death and I’ve seen life, I have seen joy, and I’ve seen pain. I’ve experienced them all as well. I’ve felt the unbearable pain and the unspeakable joy of both.
You can never please them all. So don’t even try. Love like you have no tomorrow. Stop hating. Stop trolling social media looking for the bad in others, instead look for the good. We are all flawed, but if you only look up and inward and train your eyes to find the light, then and only then, may we see past the deception of the enemy. You will see a promise that waits at the end of the rainbow we call life.
Daniel 7:25 says satan will try to wear us down mentally and emotionally and for or a time he will be allowed to just that. We all just have to keep battling knowing we ultimately won.
I have tried my whole life to help people. See past the outer shell and with faith see what is on the inside of a person. I’ve done my best to play the game of life with an uncommon approach. Yet people often still find fault in my game. I learned long ago though to only let that motivate me.
Sorry if I have ever stepped on your toes with something I said or posted. I do love you and hope you forgive me. I wish everyone would look past my faults and do so in others. I am human too and struggle doing so, so I can’t fault you for that either. The Bible says we will struggle in this area, because as we look at others, we will be blinded by the log in our own eye impairing our vision.
I like to end my post with a challenge, so I will do that and take that same challenge myself today. Thank others for holding you accountable. Nobody enjoys that naturally, yet it keeps us humble. Try not to be offended. It becomes a house of cards that falls with every small gust of wind. How dumb does it sound that I’m offended that you’re offended. Sadly, usually we are offended about something in the past. Something that can’t be changed, only forgotten.
I posted a picture of John Wayne a while back and got quite a bit of haters as a result. After doing a little more research on The Duke, I discovered just like the rest of us, he had some great qualities and a few not so great qualities.
I posted a picture recently of my son by an old 67 Chevy pickup, because at his age I drove an old 68 Chevy pickup. I did not think twice about a confederate flag that was on the bumper of the truck.
As I said before, I grew up a small town country boy watching the Dukes of Hazard and loved the General Lee. It was just a sweet Hemi orange 1969 Dodge Charger muscle car with a rebel flag and a 01 painted on it. It stood for one of a kind. I had a 72 Chevelle and painted it Hemi orange just like the General Lee. Not one time, not once, did I ever associate the confederate flag with hate, nor have I hated anyone for the way God created them.
I do believe all of us have a little rebel in us. We are actually born with a rebellious spirit. You can actually choose what you do with that spirit. It can own you, or you can trade it in for the Spirit of the Holy Spirit. You can then ultimately rebel against a sinful world ruled by Satan and do like Jesus did and conquer sin through our Savior. A Rebel we should all choose to follow!
My great great Grampa’s name was Sherman Tecumseh Bostwick. He was named after the famous Union General William Tecumseh Sherman and the famous Shawnee Chief Tecumseh. My wife has President Abraham Lincoln and Cherokee Chief Dragging Canoe in her family tree. We love our heritage. General Sherman was far from perfect, but played a vital role in changing America for the better when it comes to slavery. On the other hand he used the same brutal style of war to take the south and later Indian land against the likes of Tecumseh. Abe Lincoln ended up giving his life to end slavery, while Tecumseh and Dragging Canoe gave their lives trying to stop expansion into Indian territories. Men just trying to do what they felt was right. All failed in my ways. Both Lincoln and Sherman suffered from mental struggles and depression, yet thankfully they both marched on to overcome their struggles to help end slavery.
Let me end this post with a few quotes from NBA great Charles Barkley. Chuck rarely holds back his opinion. He is far from perfect as well, but I fully agree with him on this.
“I’m not going to waste my time worrying about these Confederate statues,” he said. “That’s wasted energy. You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna keep doing great things. I’m gonna keep trying to make a difference number one in the black community — because I’m black — but also [I’m] gonna try to do good things in the world. I’m not gonna waste my time screaming at a neo-Nazi who’s gonna hate me no matter what, and I’m not gonna waste my time worried about these statues that they’ve got all over the country.”
Barkley has been outspoken about Confederate symbols in the past, once saying that he wouldn’t watch NASCAR because of the number of Confederate battle flags he saw on his way to a race. In a 2002 book, he touched on the controversies involving that same symbol, writing that the flag’s defenders “are not going to change what they feel in their hearts because they take the flag down. I understand the power of symbols, and if I had anything on my house that seriously offended someone, I’d take it down if for no other reason than common courtesy.”
For this reason, common courtesy, I cropped the confederate flag out of my previous social media post. Sorry if I offended anyone that takes offense to the confederate flag. I am also sorry if I offended anyone who sees the confederate flag as nothing more than a representation of a country boy in the south, someone who still likes the Dukes of Hazard.
I asked a close friend of mine his thoughts on the confederate flag and he said, I saw your post, but I know you and thus knew you would never post something trying to cause pain or hurt to others. He had a different opinion than me about the confederate flag. He said “To me the flag is about being a traitor to America and racism. So while I agree people are too sensitive these days…I’ve always, even as a kid, hated everything that flag was about in the 1860’s, the 1960’s civil rights movement and currently.”
All in all, I can personally do without a Confederate Flag, if it causes pain to others, but I do not like the road we seem to be going down as a country. There is a growing trend to find things that somehow someway offend us. Then we take a sledge hammer drive a stake in the ground with that offense written on a flag in Bold Red Letters hoping to hit as many nerves and feelings as possible. What is the goal? To magnify and raise as much sensitivity and hate as possible against someone else? That is not helping, nor is it the answer to our problems.
Social media has long been used to influence the masses by both the good and the bad. Media is our new war. It effects us all and it is not going away. We must open our eyes and see media for what it is. It is bias. It is not the truth. The Word of God is the only Truth.