Just Show em Love – Take the NO LIKES CHALLENGE
I have heard more and more about the negative effects of social media likes. It wasn’t until I saw the effects it had on one of my loved ones that I realized the full power and control of the like button.
After seeing an increase of food disorders, depression, and anxiety, numerous countries have banned the like button. I found that hard to believe until I decided to fast the button myself.
Seemed like an easy challenge. I would just stop checking my post to see if anyone was liking them. Fasting Likes instead of fasting food or sugar seemed at first LIKE I was taking the easy road. However, this was a much more difficult fast than I expected.
I found myself almost unknowingly grabbing my phone and clicking on one of my social media feeds just to see if the button at the bottom was lit up letting me know that someone had LIKED or commented on one of my post. It was almost scary how consumed I was. I felt a need to know if people LIKED my post. If they LIKED what I had to say.
Growing up, there was nothing I wanted more than affirmation from my father. Seemingly to please him was one of the most difficult tasks to accomplish. My father was a great man, but he had grown up without a father. His mom was not around much either. Dad was determined to be a better father and he was an incredible example of a provider and hard worker. He was a tremendous example of character. I never heard my father curse or swear even before becoming a follower of Christ, my dad was an Oak!
The one thing that my father struggled with was affirmation. The definition of affirmation is to give emotional support or encouragement. Dad came by this weakness as a result of not having an example of this in his own home. He was a quiet, tough, Clint Eastwood type. The only way he knew how to encourage me was to push me pointing out my weaknesses. Without affirmation, it was very difficult for me to see the Love in Dad’s approach. He was awesome at being there and demanding that I had character, worked hard, and competed. Dad did his best and I would not trade him for anyone. My goal is simply to be an even better version of a great man.
I visit with recruits all the time in my office. Usually the recruit is sitting with his parents sitting behind him. Father’s are missing these days in those meeting at a staggering sad level. A present dad that shows up is much better than no father, but time and time again, I see fathers who struggle with affirmation. I ask every recruit this question. Have you ever came home from playing what you thought was a good game and all you hear is, “Son, how did you miss that layup and those free throws?” Almost every time, the young man’s eyes drop down. I immediately let them know that my father did the exact same thing, not because he was not pleased with me, but because he loved me more than anyone in the entire world. Then I tell them how much their father loves them, even though their father struggles letting them know it. It is one of the coolest things I get to see as the young man looks over at his dad or mom and smiles as if to say, I get it now dad or mom!
I call it it the Push and Praise Approach. I tell them that I will push them harder than anyone ever has except their father or mother. Sadly, many moms have to play both the mom and dad’s role in many families. I then tell them, I will also do my best to try and praise them even more.
Single parents, you got this! How? I can’t imagine how difficult this is. I would say it is virtually an impossible situation. I have great news of great joy! God thrives in the impossible! He is waiting to join you and walk with you providing every ounce of strength you need in your journey!
Providing affirmation is a gift! Every human being desires it. If a child, husband or wife is not getting it, the truth is they will tend to look elsewhere until they find it. Social media has become that door for so many. The Like Button. I had no idea of the power of a like.
Let me briefly add this very important note. As fathers your daughters need your love and affirmation just as much or more than your sons. Without it, without your affirmation and praise, they will seek for it elsewhere. There are so many sad traps set by the enemy to capture their attention. Even if they don’t have your same interest and passions, you must go the second mile to see the reward of a powerful healthy mentally, physically, and spiritually strong young woman walk down that isle some day! Trust me, it will be well wort it! Have you hugged your daughter or son today?
The good news is there is something infinitely more powerful than like and that is love. Love never fails! Our Heavenly Father will never fail us and is always there waiting for us to reach out to Him. No matter how much I try as both a dad and a coach to provide the perfect amount of praise along with push, I simply fail sometimes. That is where a relationship with Love is so valuable. God is Love. When we have that close intimate relationship with Him. That need for Like simply goes away.
It’s time to take control of the like button and realize it’s attempt of controlling our joy. Put your joy and peace in Jesus and watch depression, anxiety, and fear vanish.
As parents, we are to be an image and reflection of our Heavenly Father. When our children see us, they should see God in us. They should see the living power of the Holy Spirit shining. When we speak they should hear God’s words coming from our mouths, not cursing, and whining.
As I said, I am a 100 percent for pushing your children hard, demanding and teaching the importance of work ethic and character and even better than that I know I must be an example for them. I am not much of an apologetic when it comes to using big words to explain why I believe what I believe. My strength comes from being a living apologetic and doing everything I can to unapologetically praise, worship, and let the Holy Spirit live, love, and demonstrate His Power through my weaknesses. We can all do that!
JUST SHOW EM LOVE
Take the No Like Challenge Today!
It is simple. Refuse to check your social media for likes. Post as much love as you can in post, but then just give it to God and trust He will get your message to those He so desires. Try it for a day, a week, and see it changes how you feel about yourself! If you are struggling with affirmation and no one seems to notice your cry for love. There is hope. There is a Love that will fill the void in your life like none other. That Love is Jesus! He will replace the over eating, alcohol, porn, and drugs. He is just waiting for you to call Him by name. Father help me! Cry out and experience a Love like none other! Watch fear, anxiety, shame, and feel freedom of all the enemies traps and bondage. There is not a more peaceful feeling than being set free and being held in the all powerful arms of your Heavenly Father! Just Do It. Nothing is Impossible with God!