JESUS JUNKIE
Junkie is a noun. It refers to one who has an insatiable interest in something. There is nothing more sad to me than someone addicted to narcotics, alcohol, pornography, gambling, and the list goes on and on. What is the title of that list? The Title reads three simple letters, SIN. For years that Title for me read ESPN.
Every single one of us fall short. It all began with Adam and Eve. After disobeying God and doing the one thing they were told not to do, sin became their kryptonite. “And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool [afternoon breeze] of the day, so the man and his wife hid and kept themselves hidden from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.” Genesis 3:8 AMP
Sin caused Adam and Eve to hide from the one thing that fixes everything, the Presence of God.
You want to beat sin, become a Presence of God Junkie. Who created a way to God after sin entered the equation? That would be Jesus! So you first need to become a Jesus Junkie.
I hate fear and love a good rush. As a result, I became an adrenaline junkie. I used sports to feed that addiction for years. Is there anything wrong with that? Not at all, unless it becomes your god.
At age 30, only with God’s help, through the power of Holy Spirit I broke through a Jericho size wall the enemy had built to contain me. In a heated moment where in which I was in a Jacob like wrestling match with God over how He could allow Satan to attack one of my friends, I cried out to God, “How could you allow this to happen!”
His response, “Then Fight!”
I have never heard anything more clear. It was a Isaiah 6:8 moment for me. Who will Go? Who will fight? Without hesitation I said, “Send Me. I’ll Fight”.
I knew it was a call from my coach to get in the game. Would or would I not, throw off all the chains that had bound me for years and go all in to fight to save my friend?
Chains? What chains? Pride, comfort, and selfishness were just a few of the chains that had been holding me back for years.
At that point in my life, I never read my Bible, barely prayed unless I needed something, didn’t worship much, never raised my hands to praise my King, never fasted, and the list goes on. I had convinced myself that going to church and letting my pastor feed me like a 3 year old child and driving a church bus was plenty good enough for me.
Good enough? I’ve never had a great player that was satisfied with being good enough. As both a player and coach, I prided myself on outworking anyone and was always willing to do the little things necessary to win a simple game or silly prize, yet when it came to the only prize that really matters, I was settling for good enough.
Why? I believed a lie. I believed there was nothing more that I needed this side of heaven. I was doing better than most and had married a spiritual warrior, who like my mom. She read the Bible to my kids and made sure they were fed spiritually. As a result, I could focus on providing financially for my family and climbing the ladder of success. Yes and feed my addiction to ESPN, or the S word – Sports.
Wow was I stupid. What a ball of crap! I found myself coming up short time and time again. An occasional win or little bit of success kept me hooked on that lie, but what was waiting for me just on the other side of the wall Satan had built was impossible to even dream or imagine. How could I even hope or wish for something that I didn’t even realize was there to enjoy. Not in Heaven, but right now and right here on earth! Didn’t Jesus tell us to pray “On Earth as it is in Heaven”?
Let’s go back to that moment again. Would I fight or not? I just knew deep inside my soul, that if I was going to step into God desired plan for me, I had to take a step past the comfort zone and onto the battlefield. I had seen my mother model this warfare on her knees most of my life, but I had been fooled to believe I was good enough and that wasn’t the mission God had for me.
It felt like it was a now or never moment. A moment God had been preparing me for my entire life. What I didn’t realize was what was waiting for me on the other side of that step onto the battlefield.
Let me make sure you understand. Prior to this step, I went to church and Sunday school every time the door was open, drove the church bus, and am pretty confident I was going to heaven. What I didn’t know was just one taste of God’s Presence would be enough to change everything. It was like I was blind, but then I could see. I was deaf, but then I could hear. I was dead, but I came alive.
Jesus said it like this, when you taste my blood and eat of my body, you will know. John 6:66 explains at that moment a multitude of Jesus followers chose the chains and walked away from the fight. Only Jesus disciples remained.
If you have never tasted a pineapple, especially one from a fruit stand in Hawaii. I can’t truly explain how amazing it taste. I’ve heard a drug addict say you can’t understand the pain that their chosen drug takes away when you take the drug. They say it is the most amazing feeling of freedom and a high that grips you to the bone. The problem is the result of that choice.
If you choose to taste God’s Presence through seeking Him through prayer, worship, praise, fasting, etc.. then the result will be joy unspeakable, peace unexplainable, and a love that endures anything. If you take that drug, you may for a brief time enjoy the freedom from pain, but shortly after you will find yourself handcuffed, addicted, and hell bent on destruction. You will find yourself caring about nobody and seeking a more powerful drug to take away your new found pain.
Twenty three years later, after talking that step onto the battlefield and tasting of God’s presence at a level I had never experienced. I have absolutely zero regret for making that decision. I am proud to announce, that I am still a Jesus Junkie daily seeking more of God’s Presence.
The result has been God’s Favor and Love poured out on my life at levels that I are not fair. Am I absent of loss or struggle? No I am not, but through Christ Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the daily Presence of God in my Life, I can do all things. Nothing is impossible, No Weapon formed against me prospers.
My plan and bucket list, that was so small, has long been checked off and replaced by God’s plan for my life. My Daddy continues to tell me to dream bigger and believe for the impossible.
He can be your Daddy too. Knock and He will answer. Seek and you will find. Ask and you shall receive a taste of the Presence of the Almighty!
Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash