Self Control Is Power

by Donnie Bostwick

November 30, 2018

2972

One thing i am learning of late and teaching my players is the Holy Spirit does not only give us power, but He also helps us stay under control while in the heat of battle. As coaches we have all lost it and crossed the line at one point or another.

You don’t win championships at home. You win them on the road. No tougher challenge of self control than handling the adversity of the road! My High School coach really helped me to learn the value of picking my battles when it came to my administration, my players parents, and even with officials.

One of the biblical principles that God gave me when He gave me the assignment of coaching at OKWU was “Be Meek”. Becoming a college head coach and an Athletic Director while accepting the assignment of turning a program around that had suffered six straight 20 loss seasons was more than i could accomplish on my own. I needed help, i needed a lot of help! It was going to take something outside my natural ability to help turn the tide in this situation.

While serving as an assistant coach, for ten years i sought the opportunity of becoming a head college basketball coach. There were some difficult days over those 10 years, but i never let go of the Vision God had given me of becoming a head coach. After finding out that i was not going to be given the opportunity to take over the realms of the program, that i had spent over a decade of my life building into a National Championship program, God told my wife Sheri and I that He was going to “make something out of nothing”.

Every year i had applied for head college coaching positions, sending out hundreds of applications over those ten years. Discouraging to say the least, but I had a power resting on me that kept me moving forward even in the darkest days of that journey.

How many times can you come so close to reaching your destiny, vision, or dream before you give up? As a result of the success we were having at JBU, I reached the finalist stage in some very prestigious small college jobs. Over twenty times, it seemed as though finally my dream was going to come true. There were times I did not get jobs because i was too religious, other times i was the wrong denomination, and even once because i was unwilling to recruit all white athletes. No matter the reason, i never lost hope that God would some day bring my vision to reality. Fact is i had way less control over my future than i thought i did, but self control is something that you can improve on and learn to better control.

Controlling my fire and anger was something that i needed supernatural help with over my coaching career. We all do at some point. While my physical makeup tends to lean toward being fearless and a risk taker, others struggle with timidity. I used to tell my wife, i have big angels, why do i need to wear a seatbelt. Growing up my 69 Chevy pickup did not even have seatbelts. As kids we rode in the back of the truck, never wore a helmet riding a bike, had no safety nets on our trampolines, and even played tackle football every recess. I would tell her, “We are creating a fearful and soft generation without faith in our guardian angels!” Her response, “God gave you a brain too!” Actually i am not 100% sure about that one, but he definitely gave me her to help keep me off the cliffs edge all the time! My wife would say, “There is a difference between fearless and stupid”. My father told me plenty of times, “That was stupid son.” It was not until i was older that i realizes he was not calling me stupid. He was telling me to be wise.

I have had many humble pies shoved in my face over the years. Losing my first game as a junior high girl’s coach, 54-4 was a great start to my career! My first head high school coaching job interview lasted all of 5 minutes. It was simply me and the superintendent. It was arguably the worst high school job in the state at the time. He asked me one question. “Why did you go to junior college?” I told him, “because that was my only scholarship offer, but i had never had a GPA below 3.2.” He said, “Son your simply two green behind the ears.” It never helped in interviews that i looked much younger than my age. I remember walking out of that job interview saying, “God, you couldn’t even get me that job!” We played that same school three years later and were up over 50 points at halftime. I remember looking down at the other coach right before halftime realizing that God had protected me from that situation. I humbly thanked Him and completely did my best to keep the game respectable.

Probably my biggest dose of humble pie came early in my coaching career as a head high school coach. God had just taken my family and our team on a ride far beyond what we could imagine. Not only had we heard the heartbeat of our future son, after two miscarriages and being told that we could be baron, but he carried our unranked team to the State Championship. 

What a testimony! What do i do as a result? In the past season coaches meeting where the head coaches vote on the All-Conference and League MVP, which impacted who makes All-State. I felt it was pretty obvious that I had two players that ranked 1 & 2. Both had scored over 1000 points and one was even MVP of the State Tournament. Another coach formed a monopoly of his friends and had his player voted MVP. The same coach had done a couple things that had already attacked me personally. I turned the other cheek on the attacks on me, but when he cheated both my players out of All-State, i came to the conclusion that this was a valid excuse to lower my self-control and call him out. He had thrown a spear and i caught it and threw it right back at him. I basically told him how sorry of a human I thought he was in front of every coach in the league. For not even a minute, it felt pretty dog gone good, but in seconds that feeling left and i stood there feeling like dirt. I walked out of the room and outside, the only thing i could think is i am pretty sure i just ruined any impact my faith might have had on the people in that room over the past couple years. David showed his power by not throwing spears back at Saul. A powerful lesson i learned that day!

I later heard in a FCA breakfast, the definition of the word “Meek”. Nobody i knew ever used this word. The only time i ever even heard the word used was in the verse “Blessed are The Meek, For they will inherit the Earth”. I basically thought that had some connection with always turning the other cheek. I connected meek with weak or soft. When i was told that the Biblical meekness is not weakness but rather refers to exercising God’s strength under His control — i.e. demonstrating power without undue harshness. It meant power under control, not only that, but if the Holy Spirit lives in us, then we are talking about the greatest power in the universe! I can’t tell you the impact that had on not only my coaching, but my life. I like to call it the meek line, the line Jesus drew in the sand when the men were going to stone the prostitute. “Ye who is without sin cast the first stone”. Jesus was never timid, yet he never became angry and sinned. He threw the gamblers out of the Temple without sinning, he feared no one, yet He never took advantage of the power He had at his fingertips. The practice of Self Control is demonstrating your power under control! Not letting anger, frustration, or timidity rob your testimony! That’s Power!